This and that things again

Yah, why do i become wishy-washy about my own life? Choosing, decided, made up my mind but then still the feeling never gets calm down while things already most settled down. i decided then i must play till the end, no matter lose or win will have to accept it and find a way for it by myself. Knowing i really play my life a lot since the beginning...don't know, it's just something i want to know, i want to see, and i wanna try it out. Don't care about what other people say about it. Once decided, will never let go!

What the hell that this time around i still not sure about myself in doing such thing for good life? Ahh, really make me confusing and hard to decide sometimes. I mnot that decisive guy anyway, but just i'm way of picky one! Whatever! Just need to endure with it for one or two yrs maybe. This month, i'm like a bum with no job but waiting for being called for the start. Waiting doesn't matter to me but that does matter to whole fam..damn it! Shall i go get a part-time job huh? Totally tough to find one...doing thing on my own? Still no chance. Hmm, decide to come to look for a job but then end up with useless things on net. Really no time for plans, no mood to start but really feel wanted to. Things really change the wholly after this while onward. Told myself not to play but then now i'm risking and playing with life once again...let's begin!